This past week had been quite am emotional rollercoaster, many silent moments of pondering and conversations with friends who were filled with hurt and pain. 

I had a couple of days where I struggled silently, working through various thoughts and scenarios, memories arising, in hindsight and with some new insight, being viewed with a different perspective, producing unexpected pangs and pain. 

I experienced unexpected and misguided moments of feeling rejected and forgotten, all in the course of a regular days work. Pushing past pain in the midst of busyness, reminding myself that I have a shield that protects me from such darts… did I leave it behind somewhere?

Ah yes my shield… I call for it and it returns… it was really there all along, I had simply neglected my covering. 

He is my shield…

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song. The LORD is the strength of His people, a fortress of salvation for His anointed one.

Psalm 28:7-8

Pity I had neglected to stand behind Him. Now that I am covered again, I curl up under His wings and find refuge.

He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

Psalm 91:4

He heals my soul…

He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. 

Psalm 23:2-3

When Adam and eve sinned God asked, where are you… He knew where they were, He was asking if they knew.

My litmus test in terms of my position in Christ is in moments like these where situations that should not have affected me so greatly do. When the flames of the enemy pierce me instead of being quenched by the shield of faith. 

In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one

Ephesians 6:16

Moments when the lies of the enemy infiltrate my mind and I am crushed by negative thoughts and feelings. Doubt, rejection, anxiety, shame…

…for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.

Revelation 12:10

When my compassion wanes and I lack patience. I need to get down on my knees and find my way back to where He is waiting patiently to embrace me once again and welcome me back into His covering.

How often does this need to take place? Daily at least, sometimes hourly on a rough day… sometimes pausing to remind myself that He is in every breath that I take and with each breath I need to be reminded of my dependence on Him. 

But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night.

Psalm 1:2

And then I am renewed in His presence. My soul finds rest…

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

Psalm 62:5

I am strengthened…

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

And I take up my sword and I live to fight another day…

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony…

Revelation 12:11