I dated a guy when I was in high school, I thought that I was the luckiest girl on earth. It’s amazing what you are willing to settle for when you are empty inside…
They say that life is lived forwards but understood backwards. I am prone to agree. As I look back I realise that he was the lucky one. Lucky that I would even give him the time of day. I had so much going for me, I was popular, a straight A student, and fun to be around. I can say that now looking back, but back then I wasn’t quite as whole, and my vision was blurred by a deep longing to be loved.
My parents separated when I was twelve and suddenly my perfect world was turned upside down. In the midst of the turmoil, my sense of love and belonging quickly disintegrated. I began to look for it in other places…
I share this story now as I reflect on my two special Valentines. My beautiful daughters who are now eleven and fourteen. As I watch them grow I am often reminded of myself at their age and I am able to put things into perspective as I reflect on the choices I made, along with the areas in which my parents fell short without even realising it.
It has become a tradition in our home to celebrate Valentine’s Day as a family, pouring love into each other, sharing a meal together at the table and spoiling our girls with little gifts. I love that they feel included in this day as part of a family that loves them, that they aren’t waiting for a partner to someday enjoy it with.
Outside of Valentine’s Day, we make an effort to compliment our girls often and tell them how special they are. Craig and I teach them what it means to be treated with love and respect and we try our best each day to honour each other in a way that illustrates this, that ours may one day be the example they use as a frame of reference for a healthy and loving relationship.
Be who you needed when you were younger.
I am not suggesting that our lives are perfect, rather I am hoping to illustrate how we are being intentional in filling their cups and shaping their mindsets and future. There is a saying, “Be who you needed when you were younger”. I needed someone who would make me look at all I had to offer and who I was. Someone who would tell me that I was beautiful, valuable, special and loved.
…Love your neighbor as yourself.
Matthew 22:39
We live in a world where there is so much of hate. If we consider the above verse, the command made by Jesus that we ought to love our neighbours as ourselves, it is no wonder that love is so greatly lacking when we are surrounded by people who don’t even like themselves! And these very people go looking to be loved by someone else who is just as devoid of emotion and end up feeling even more unloved as a result.
I want my girls to feel loved in such a way that they will never go out looking for it in all the wrong places, but rather be so filled with love that they spread it wherever they go. I also want them to always know that they are loved unconditionally by a God who died so that they may have and abundant life.
This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:12-13
I hope that my story would serve as a reminder to each of us that we need to be intentional when it comes to filling our children with love, telling them that they are beautiful, valuable, cherished, one of a kind and precious. Reminding them that they are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made, so that they will never allow anyone to treat them in a manner that suggests otherwise.
Words so beautifully selected and meant from the heart. I concur. We do the same an never excluded our only girl in everything we do. She is told everyday that she is loved and she is always includedis all celebrations. We show her the kind of love that even if she goes out into the word, she will be guided by the Lord to make the right decisions. Love your shared message. Not alot of us think of our younger days because we want to block out the past because. But we need to look at it a learn from it and ensure that we as parents don’t repeat mistakes that we went thru when we were younger
Thank you so much for your feedback Charmaine, I am really pleased that my story resonated with you.
The evidence of your love is clearly visible in your beautiful daughter ❤
When we find affirmation in the love of our Heavenly Father, then those puppy dog crushes we had back in the day make us wonder what in the world were we doing to ourselves😁absolutely agree that we must include our children in our celebration of love.. After all, they are the culmination of the love between 2 people.. I have also found that my parents love for me cannot be comparable..
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, I certainly agree.
You are wonderful example of love in all that you do ❤
Thank you Leila for writing this … I am in awe of your family – you can see the love and respect you all have for each other ❤️
Thank you my precious friend. It’s only through the grace of God.
I see all the love you pour into your young man and I know that he will be a wonderful and loving man ❤
Thank you for sharing Laiela. Such a beautiful story and this is so you. A beautiful loving person inside and out who always shows such immense love to all those around. Stay blessed always.
Thank you my beautiful friend. I so appreciate your loving words ❤
Love this read today my friend. You are so real and your truth helps others see that they are alone. I identify with you as my parents split when I was a similar age and I’m also blessed with two girls that I can give and receive unconditional love through.
Thanks for your beautiful writing!
Thank you for your encouraging response my beautiful friend. I am so grateful to you for all your love, support and inspiration. ❤